Quarterly Newsletter Spring/Summer Edition- Fire Article Section 3: How acupuncture moved some old anger energy in my womb- An op ed piece by Sacred Walker

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Pt III:

How acupuncture moved some old anger energy in my womb.

I was in my mid twenties living in a beautiful studio apartment in Oakland. I had an overall balanced and happy life, except for every couple of months when I bled. I remember waking one morning in immense pain. I knew that if I didn't act quickly and get my iron and banana, my body would feel like I was going into anemic shock.  The pain and throbbing in my pussy began to intensify, and I immediately wanted to take a long bath. I got into the shower and began to sob heavily. My pain increased but atleast the aching in my pussy had simmered. I suddenly began to feel calmer. I cried out to God to make it stop. I didn't take over the counter pain pills because they deadened the pain cells. And amidst those painful moments my intuition and voice of God was also the clearest, and I didn't want to skip over the pain. I wanted to move thru it. I began to rub my belly, amidst my tears. After about an hour, I called out of work. I usually would have pushed thru, been super queen, and then have to come home. But I began to accept that the stress in my life usually intensified the pain in my body. As I got out of the shower, I began to feel light headed and the pain returned like someone cutting a blade through my womb down the center of my clitoris. I began to cry out and melted into bed, coming in and out of consciousness.

After sleeping, I text a couple friends what was happening, and they came over with books, tea, comfort, and offers of taking me to the hospital. I had been to the hospital so many times before for this, and they had only remedied me by offering intense pain meds and an iv for my dehydration. No, that wouldn't solve it. I took the heating pad my friend brought over for me, and layed it unto my vagina and womb. I had bled so heavily that at that point I was completely bledding thru my sheets and the heating pad. The super heavy flow came because I had such infrequent periods every couple of months.

I moved thru yet another excruciating time, this time avoiding the hospital visit, withe support of my God and my sisters. And when I washed my sheets, I tried to wash away all memories of the sad experiences and hold unto the blessings.

Years later today I am in my thirties. I moved back to NYC and began seeing a GYN  Doctor Karla Waldrond. I told her about my periods and the painful visits that often left me faint and bleeding to the point of brinking on anemia. She asked me a pivotal question: Has no one ever worked with you before on how to prevent this from occurring, or gotten to the root? I explained that I had only received low hormone birth control, to help me regulate the periods. But they had the side effect of my feeling nauseous and moody everyday. She suggested that I go to an acupuncturist.

I found an acupuncture services at third root medical center. I requested a woman but they highly recommended Jomo, a black male. It turns out he was both learned in Chinese medicine and Pan African traditions- Yoruba. He explained to me that there was anger in my womb held there for many generations. He instructed me to create an ancestral alter to my father's line. He also encouraged that I learn to express my anger more clearly and upfront. I told him that I had a history of incest and sexual abuse, and he framed alot of what was happening in my womb in regards to that.

Now, I had had acupuncture before and didn't like the needles at all! So as he prepared to put the needles in me, I specifically asked him to give me less needles. I was also very skeptical about it all. As he put the needles in my womb area, third eye, etc. I immediately began to cry. I grieved the loss of my childhood innocence, having learned about sexual experiences, before I was able to verbalize what was happening. I began to cry and open up and saw the tears of my mother, and mother before, who had all experiences violence, and had also all struggled with, overcome, or lost the battle to ovarian cancer. My mother lost her womb to ovarian cancer a few years ago, and my grandmother struggled with cervical cancer while in Jamaica, but found a bushman to help cure her. I cried and rejoiced all at the same time.

When I got home, I immediately started to bleed. It was as if my eyes and womb cried in unison. I just allowed my flow to release stored pain. This time, the pain wasn't as intense. For the first time ever, I didn't feel like I was going to faint or die. It still felt like someone stabbing me in my womb, but that cutting my open experience decreased.

Since that first session, I have returned several times. And since starting treatment, I have had a regular period since. For the first time in my life I learned what was building in my womb. Anger! I had stored up my anger in my womb, they way my mother and foremothers had learned to. Now when I bleed regularly, I thank God for the flow that is less biting. I stay home, when I can, and reduce my stress. I take multivitamins everyday. I speak up in the moment when something is bothering me tactfully. I also created an ancestor alter to honor and heal the trauma created by and experienced by the males in my family. Those who have passed on and who have died to me.

My blood flows regularly like a river. It still hurts but today, like anger, I have channeled it into a more manageable less destructive and debilitating experience. I have joined and performed in a Sacred burlesque troupe. I have taken Orisa dance classes, and will continue to. Today I dance for the sensual unexpressed in me. Today I dance because I do not cry out to God, faint then end up going to the emergency room. Today I celebrate one step to being closer to honoring my ancestral line and all the women whose anger built up in their wombs, and they cried out to God because the pain was too much. Today my pain is more bearable. Who knows what God will use with the ease of tomorrow.

I birth myself anew, lighter, more joyful, more compassionate and patient. I curse God less and celebrate the transformation of anger in my womb, one day at a time.

Resources:

Research to support my personal findings:

"A review of controlled trials of acupuncture for women's reproductive health care"

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14662058

ALSO CHECK OUT!

http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Angry-Vagina-Journey-Wellness/dp/0954427718/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406298022&sr=8-1&keywords=OVERCOMING+AN+ANGRY+VAGINA

http://www.amazon.com/Black-Rage-Psychiatrists-Dimensions-Desperation/dp/0465007015/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406298048&sr=8-1&keywords=BLACK+RAGE

http://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Woman-Healing-Feminine-Spirit/dp/0345434862/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406297882&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=SACRED+WOMBAN